Sitting here watching Crap on TV my mind wanders, just drifting off and all i can think about is her. All i can think about is- i wish she was here, is she okay, is she happy, is she thinking about me, WOW there is no one quiet like her. i suddenly realise that i've never fealt anything quiet like this and that if this is not love, then love doesn't exist there is nothing in this world more than this, no one in this world feels stonger than this.
What hurts is that there is no one in this world that feels this way for, there is no one in this world that sits there doing nothing and suddenly thinks "I wonder what Spyke is up to" or "I'll just give Spyke a quick ring just to hear his voice" and i have to ask myself why is this.
Now don't get the wrong idea i'm by no means alone, i have Friends some best friends, some mearly aquintenses, i have people who want me there and people who say they care for me, so i am not alone, never alone.
But why is it in a room full of people, i feel alone? Because no-one feels this way for me, more specifically she doesn't feel this way for me.
Now i'd love to say thats okay id love to say i can live with that but i can't, it pains me to know she doesn't feel that way, it pains me to know that i will never be that one for her. It pains me to know that i will wait a life time for her because i cannot settle for Second Best and every one comes second best to her. It pains me.
I love her and always will. I will always be alone, but its better than settling for someone who you do not or cannot love.
Good night all. XX
