Crying

Hi Everyone Is it ealthy, to Cry when it hurts. Is it healthy, to Cry when you are so tired that you cant sleep and your onlyway to sleep is to tire yourself with tears. Is it healthy, to Cry at all. I Cry because i cant sleep, i cant think, i cant eat. I cant live without Crying. Is it Healthy to Cry. X

The Name Change

HI All Back again to bore you with some boring facts from my current plain existence. Well today i have many an argument about my Name change. You see I'm changing my name to Spyke officially and currently letting everyone know but for some reason a lot of people are finding it very difficult to accept it. I have found there are many people keep purposefully calling me by my previous name just to p**s me off. To be honest i don't understand it, Ive always gone by Spyke and for the few people who know and use my real name, now it will be Spyke. but unfortunately for me a lot of people just seem to want to annoy me. Am i wrong in asking people to call me by the name i feel most comfortable with, Am i wrong to try and disassociate myself from my previous life my shedding the skin of my former self. Am i wrong to ask those around me to help in this by using the name i choose and am comfortable with. What do i do, i want to and am changing my name, but i cant still use my previous name by answering it, but at the same time i don't want to come across as a prat by refusing to acknowledge people who don't call me Spyke. Thanks for listening

Friends

I spent most of my life (as I'm sure a lot of people did) molding my life around those around me. Changed what i like and who i am based on what they want, or at least what i think they want.

But today something happened to me, after yet another change, yet another doing as i was told, something dawned to me. something people have been trying to tell me over the years, something i thought i already knew. The only person making me do these things is me. i bend to others whim, i change myself in the image of others, and i am not happy with myself otherwise i wouldn't be doing these things.

So after much contemplation and a couple mini panic attacks, about life and what i need to do with mine, i realised that all i need to do to stop myself from doing these very self destructive acts, is be happy.

I need to be happy with who i am, be happy with what Ive got and where I'm going in life. If i truly am happy with myself then there will be absolutely no reason to change who i am, and i f i can accept myself for what i am then maybe others will too.

I may be loud, i may be annoying, pedantic and arrogant. but if i can live with that then maybe others can to.

So i guess the message today is, "Be true to yourself, you are great as you are."

Thanks

Spyke

X

Life, Love and Sex

I spent most of my adult life looking for Love and Sex, now I'm not saying the two are mutually exclusive but i once thought it was. I spent the last 4 years thinking sex was love and love was sex, i spent time looking, searching for what it was i thought i wanted. I also thought i found it once or twice, but all i saw was heartache and loneliness, i do believe you can have love without sex, and i do believe you can have sex without love, but i don't believe for one moment you can have Life without the both of these thing.

I have lived as very unfulfilled life, i have not travelled a thousand miles, i have not swam with Dolphins, i have not ran with the Pack, i have led no remarkable life. But i was given a remarkable gift, i have met someone, someone special. She has the potential to go all the way, she is intelligent, she is pretty and she is funny. Now i hardly know the women and I'm not saying i love her, i am saying i like her and I'd like to get to know her more and see if anything happens.

We can but hope.

I have been rejected in the past, i have been humiliated and i have endured ridicule at the hands of those i thought loved me, but some how i soldier on, somehow i force myself to believe the impossible is possible.

and if you ever feel like there is no going forward, like you can take anymore then believe me when i say "Hope triumphs over experience"

X

Me

Hi Every body

Just a quick introduction to start with and soon enough you'll be getting a daily report of evety thing that is going on in my life and all the strange thoughts that have to be kept in my head so as not to scare civilized society.

I work full time in an office surrounded by people who don't understand me, but dont we all. there is a couple of people at work that knida get me, and a few who really don't. My sexuality is debated by all and unknown to me, i am past my experimental stage and still im unsure, but hey will i ever.

I'm currently single but am suffering from a sever case of unrequited love, am trying to get over this by focusing my attentions on some one else. Plus im not really allowed to like this person as i have a friend who has a thing for her and well you guys out there you know the rules. there is a guy at work thats flirting with me but he not really my type, i do flirt back i mean who wouldn't but im not really interested maybe summit might happen, maybe not just a bit of fun.

I still think my Ex girlfriend has feelings for me but that flame extinguised a while ago. Anyway thats enough ffom me. Undoubtable there is more to say and more that will be said but for now all ive got to say his Good Night and speak to you soon.

X